7 WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR LISTENING SKILLS
Effective
listening may be the most crucial skill for managers because it is required to
do it so often. Unfortunately, listening also may be the most difficult skill
to master. Effective listening is challenging, in part, because people often
are more focused on what they're saying than on what they're hearing in return.
According to a recent study by the Harvard Business Review, people think the
voice mail they send is more important than the voice mail they receive.
Generally, senders think that their message is more helpful and urgent than do
the people who receive it.
Additionally,
listening is difficult because people don't work as hard at it as they should.
Listening seems to occur so naturally that putting a lot of effort into it
doesn't seem necessary. However, hard work and effort is exactly what effective
listening requires. Here are some practical techniques that managers can use to
improve these skills.
1. Concentrate on what others are saying. Most
individuals speak at the rate of 175 to 200 words per minute. However, research
suggests that we are very capable of listening and processing words at the rate
of 600 to 1,000 words per minute. A manager's job today is very fast and
complex, and because the brain does not use all of its capacity when listening,
a manager's mind may drift to thinking of further questions or explanations
rather than listening to the message at hand. It is important to actively
concentrate on what others are saying so that effective communication can
occur.
2.
Send the nonverbal message that you are listening. When someone is talking to
you, maintain eye contact, show the speaker you are listening by nodding your
head. Make sure your body language transmit the message that you are listening,
lean forward and avoid using your hands to play with things. Most
communication experts agree that nonverbal messages can be three times as
powerful as verbal messages. Effective communication becomes difficult anytime
you send a nonverbal message that you're not really listening.
3.
Avoid early evaluations. Because a listener can listen at a faster rate than
most speakers talk, there is a tendency to evaluate too quickly. That tendency
is perhaps the greatest barrier to effective listening. It is especially
important to avoid early evaluations when listening to a person with whom you
disagree. When listeners begin to disagree with a sender's message, they tend
to misinterpret the remaining information and distort its intended meaning so
that it is consistent with their own beliefs.
4. Avoid getting defensive. Too much time spent
explaining, elaborating, and defending your decision or position is a sure sign
that you are not listening. This is because your role has changed from one of
listening to a role of convincing others they are wrong. After listening to a
position or suggestion with which you disagree, simply respond with something
like, "I understand your point. We just disagree on this one."
Effective listeners can listen calmly to another person even when that person
is offering unjust criticism.
5.
Practice paraphrasing. For example, a subordinate might say: "You have
been unfair to rate me so low on my performance appraisal." A paraphrased
response might be: "I can see that you are upset about your rating. You
think it was unfair to rate you as I did." Paraphrasing is a great
technique for improving your listening and problem-solving skills. First, you
have to listen very carefully if you are going to accurately paraphrase what
you heard. Second, the paraphrasing response will clarify for the sender that
his or her message was correctly received and encourage the sender to expand on
what he or she is trying to communicate.
6.
Listen and observe for feelings. The way a speaker is standing, the tone of
voice and inflection he or she is using, and what the speaker is doing with his
or her hands are all part of the message that is being sent. A person who
raises his or her voice is probably either angry or frustrated. A person
looking down while speaking is probably either embarrassed or shy.
Interruptions may suggest fear or lack of confidence. Persons who make eye
contact and lean forward are likely exhibiting confidence. Arguments may
reflect worry. Inappropriate silence may be a sign of aggression and be
intended as punishment.
7.
Ask questions. Effective listeners make certain they have correctly heard the
message that is being sent. Ask questions to clarify points or to obtain
additional information. Open-ended questions are the best. They require the
speaker to convey more information. Form your questions in a way that makes it
clear you have not yet drawn any conclusions. This will assure the message
sender that you are only interested in obtaining more and better information.
And the more information that you as a listener have, the better you can
respond to the sender's communication.
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